My Professor, the Supreme Dick

I'm not one to throw insults around (at least where they can be cemented) but this one is apt.  Here is an email exchange with one professor I have, in a class in which my midterm grade was sub-par.

-----------------------------------

Professor J****s,

I have a feeling this might be in vain, and under normal circumstances, I know it would be.  But I wanted to ask you about my midterm grade.

I lost most of my points on the multiple choice.  But specifically, most of the questions I got incorrect came from a class I missed when I was in the hospital.  Questions #7, 8, 9, 13, 18, and 23 pertained to the lecture on ************  ********* policies, and while I made sure to read that chapter, I missed out on some information that was on the exam.

I was hoping there might be some sort of extra credit, or at least consideration, that I could do given my circumstances.  My grade was a 73, and those questions amounted to twelve points that I missed.

Thank you for your consideration,

---------------------------------------------------

This was the one-line response:

No, sorry.  Suggest you try to improve on the next exam.

-------------------------------------------------

Are you fuming?  I am.

There are a lot of things I could say about someone like this.  Now, I understand if I cannot be granted an extra credit assignment.  Okay, it was a long shot.  I can also understand why, at the moment, extraordinary considerations cannot be taken.  Perhaps something in the final grade could be factored in.

But the only thing I have to say to this one line, snobbish in its blue font, is that it is the mark of a supreme douchebag.  (Not to mention that the second set of words is a fragment, you illiterate).  The reason I missed that class wasn't that I got drunk and broke my leg.  It was not under my control.  A part of my body that should work stopped working.  Had I attended that class, I would have left Against Medical Advice, which is the dumbest thing for a single lecture.  I'm not sure what was expected of me: should I have stormed out in a gown and hospital socks?

So my question to you, professor, is the following: what the fuck is wrong with you?  It's not that my request was denied.  It was the snippy, almost sardonic response with which my request was met.  You're an adjunct with a day job, not Noam Chompsky.  And on top of it all, you're a shitty lecturer who expects all the knowledge to come from readings and for class periods to amuse you with your stupid egotistical tales.  

Seeing as how the grade is indiscriminately based on two tests, with no other factors, I'm strongly considering linking you to this hallowed blog, you malicious ogre.